the below is pretty much word for word my thursday night. i have witnesses.
me: are you korean?
girl: no! i'm chinese! what are you?
me: i'm japanese. you know, the country that took over yours and raped all your women?
girl: ... =O
me: so how does it feel to be korean?
me: would you date a japanese guy?
girl: sure, why not?
me: even after we took over your country and raped your women?
girl: but that was so long ago! you weren't even born.
me: my grandfather was special ops in the japanese army. he told me he had a good time in shanghai.
girl: FUCK YOU. wanna dance?
girl: what school do you go to?
girl: i go to sdsu.
me: is that a real school? i never heard of it.
girl: YOU NEVER HEARD OF SDSU?!?!?!
me: nope. *leaves and go gets a drink*
me: *comes back from the bar, and sees 4 girls*
girl: THAT'S THE GUY WHO NEVER HEARD OF SDSU!
girls: you never heard of SDSU?!?!
me: yeah but i didn't know it was a school. i thought it was like a community college and people just got drunk and high there.
girl: WHAT? i graduated from there last quarter!
me: you mean they actually give out real degrees and everything? what was your major?
me: you got a PSYCH degree from SDSU? dude, that's like being a batboy for the little leagues.
girl: FUCK YOU.
me: seriously, is that all you got?
girl: FUCK YOU.
me: oh yeah i forgot you went to SDSU.
girl: FUCK YOU ... wanna dance?
me to justin: hey, get her off me. work with me okay?
justin: i gotcha.
me: HEY, I WONDER IF THE STATE TOOK ME OFF THEIR REGISTERED SEX OFFENDERS LIST YET.
justin: MAN I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T THINK SO.
girl: ... WHAT?!?!
me: yeah, i accidentally slept with a 14 yr old and they totally got me for it. you can look me up. my name is jose arigoso.
girl: wanna dance again?
in divine retribution, my car got towed and it cost me $300 to get it back. just because i parked in a spot that said "TOW AWAY" in rather large lettering.