this is why i go home alone - siqi's house of vanity
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this is why i go home alone
the below is pretty much word for word my thursday night. i have witnesses.

me: are you korean?
girl: no! i'm chinese! what are you?
me: i'm japanese. you know, the country that took over yours and raped all your women?
girl: ... =O
me: so how does it feel to be korean?

me: would you date a japanese guy?
girl: sure, why not?
me: even after we took over your country and raped your women?
girl: but that was so long ago! you weren't even born.
me: my grandfather was special ops in the japanese army. he told me he had a good time in shanghai.
girl: FUCK YOU. wanna dance?

girl: what school do you go to?
me: ucsd.
girl: i go to sdsu.
me: is that a real school? i never heard of it.
girl: YOU NEVER HEARD OF SDSU?!?!?!
me: nope. *leaves and go gets a drink*

me: *comes back from the bar, and sees 4 girls*
girl: THAT'S THE GUY WHO NEVER HEARD OF SDSU!
girls: you never heard of SDSU?!?!
me: yeah but i didn't know it was a school. i thought it was like a community college and people just got drunk and high there.
girl: WHAT? i graduated from there last quarter!
me: you mean they actually give out real degrees and everything? what was your major?
girl: psychology.
me: you got a PSYCH degree from SDSU? dude, that's like being a batboy for the little leagues.
girl: FUCK YOU.
me: seriously, is that all you got?
girl: FUCK YOU.
me: oh yeah i forgot you went to SDSU.
girl: FUCK YOU ... wanna dance?

me to justin: hey, get her off me. work with me okay?
justin: i gotcha.
me: HEY, I WONDER IF THE STATE TOOK ME OFF THEIR REGISTERED SEX OFFENDERS LIST YET.
justin: MAN I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T THINK SO.
girl: ... WHAT?!?!
me: yeah, i accidentally slept with a 14 yr old and they totally got me for it. you can look me up. my name is jose arigoso.
girl: wanna dance again?

in divine retribution, my car got towed and it cost me $300 to get it back. just because i parked in a spot that said "TOW AWAY" in rather large lettering.
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Comments
gemste From: gemste Date: 02:12:06 09:11 (UTC) (permalink)
HAHAHA. I wish I was there
norajeans From: norajeans Date: 02:12:06 09:15 (UTC) (permalink)
FUCK YOU. ... wanna dance?
From: terri Date: 02:12:06 09:18 (UTC) (permalink)
heeeeeey, you commented on that nasty "Asian inspired soup" in the picturing_food community. that "soup" scares me shitless.
norajeans From: norajeans Date: 02:12:06 09:25 (UTC) (permalink)
I didn't want to hurt that girl's feelings, but personally I don't think that thing is soup. It looks like a dish with watery murky MSG-laden sauce. But yeah, I'm not sure I would eat it if someone offered it to me just to be polite.
From: terri Date: 02:12:06 10:11 (UTC) (permalink)
ooooh. silly white people. soy sauce this, hoisin that. tsk.
norajeans From: norajeans Date: 02:12:06 10:29 (UTC) (permalink)
As long as they don't pictures of rice with maple syrup I'll tolerate. When they do, they ought to be bitch slapped.
From: terri Date: 02:12:06 09:17 (UTC) (permalink)
oh, girls.
okitasan From: okitasan Date: 02:12:06 09:29 (UTC) (permalink)
damn SDSU
lachraine From: lachraine Date: 02:12:06 10:27 (UTC) (permalink)
Hey now, my sister got a psych degree from SDSU.

Did she have red hair?

My sister went to UCSD, but switched for some reason I can't seem to remember.
gulsukat From: gulsukat Date: 02:12:06 10:33 (UTC) (permalink)
i think it was streaked red, but i could be wrong.
lachraine From: lachraine Date: 02:12:06 10:59 (UTC) (permalink)
Nope, my sister has had her hair a vibrant red for the past 3 or 4 years. I'd be surprised if it were anything but that.
gulsukat From: gulsukat Date: 02:12:06 19:45 (UTC) (permalink)
because that's a terrible line.
qweltor From: qweltor Date: 02:12:06 19:57 (UTC) (permalink)

that's okay. the line still works anyway (at east with this one)

bastardized From: bastardized Date: 02:12:06 14:45 (UTC) (permalink)
why don't you post shit like this more often
gulsukat From: gulsukat Date: 02:12:06 19:44 (UTC) (permalink)
because i am lazy as fuck =(
From: (Anonymous) Date: 02:12:06 19:22 (UTC) (permalink)
Parked there when it said "TOW AWAY"?

You must have gotten a psych degree from SDSU...
aeonianmist From: aeonianmist Date: 02:12:06 21:53 (UTC) (permalink)
mad props for quality spontaneity
amoralphreak From: amoralphreak Date: 02:12:06 21:57 (UTC) (permalink)
are you serious? wtf?
gulsukat From: gulsukat Date: 02:13:06 00:59 (UTC) (permalink)
yeah. i'm not a nice person when drunk =(
bsbbabi From: bsbbabi Date: 02:14:06 06:12 (UTC) (permalink)
nor when you are sober? ...but still my beloved bro ;)
From: (Anonymous) Date: 02:13:06 19:21 (UTC) (permalink)

Hells yeah!

For all of you who dont beleive this, it is all true! I am Justin, and I totally verify the bitchyness
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